HEALING OUR SEXUAL SELVES for Couples
Transform your limiting sensual self-perceptions and claim your authentic sexuality to move toward sexual intimacy with your partner
– Without collapsing into what you think your partner wants…
– Without the guilt and shame of religion and dominant beliefs…
– Without letting your ghosts haunt your bedroom….
Instead, start with clarifying your most pleasurable sexual self and allow your partner to hold space for your fears and desires BY STARTING YOUR SEX PRACTICE
FOR LOVING COUPLES FOR WHOM SEX IS IMPORTANT
People in All Bodies, of All Expressions, and in All Relationship Dynamics Are Invited & Welcome.
Non-Gendered and Inclusive Language is Used Throughout.
Please share access needs and how I can support you.
FOR QUEER FOLK, ASEXUAL PEOPLE, HETEROSEXUALS, MARRIED PEOPLE, SEX WORKERS AS WELL AS THOSE PRACTICING CNM OR MONOGAMY
MICS OFF, CAMERAS OFF. THIS IS FOR YOU TWO
WHAT IS A SEX PRACTICE?
A Sex Practice is the ritual of your partner and you routinely co-creating a specific time and place to clarify, connect, communicate, heal, and/or co-create with the intention of moving toward naked pleasure and connection together.
DURING THIS ONLINE GUIDED SEX PRACTICE, identify who you are in the bedroom right now, who your partner wants you to be, and who you are when your sexuality is given alllll the permission to experience pleasure, desire, and arousal exactly the way you want to without getting frozen in performance.
This experience will support you to illuminate what’s in the dark by clarifying, connecting, and healing around your sexual selves. We’ll go through:
- A gestalt-inspired sexual archetypes practice with four pillows or chairs
- Holding space for our partner to share four different angles around their highest sexual expression
- Introducing our partner to our most pleasurable sexual self and four lens through which to understand ourselves better
Here are the details of what you can expect from our Sex Practice focused on healing around sex and sexuality:
- CREATE YOUR SPACE: Before you arrive and as we start, you’ll be invited to create a space—ideally in your bedroom, and the couch or kitchen table works, too—where you feel comfortable and safe enough with each other. You can also bring what invites the most presence and connection for you. Having a candle to light sets an energetic intention to focus on one another, and having a hand towel and your favorite unscented, organic massage oil and/or lubricant nearby makes for easier shifts to sexual intimacy if you both want to.
- INTRO: I will introduce myself and you both to starting a Sex Practice as well as why we’re gathered live and online in service of collective belonging. I’ll invite everyone to turn their mics and video off.
- ON A DIAL CHECK-IN: I’ll invite you to check in with your body, mind, and sexuality On The Dial. On a scale from 0 to 10, how open are you to having sex right now? Zero is, “No, thank you. Not right now.” Ten is “Yes, please. Let’s take off our clothes!” Anything from 1 to 9 is a willingness, a curiosity, a maybe coming from our sexuality and our body.
- SHIFTING & INTENTION-SETTING: Fifteen minutes in we’ll begin the formal Sex Practice with a guided meditation for meeting yourself and coming into presence and connection as well as naming our intentions for this Sex Practice.
- RESOURCING, ARRIVING, & ORIENTING: I’ll guide you to locate a resource within you or just outside of you for any time you feel overwhelmed, panic, or a sense of flashback during the Sex Practice. We’ll finish by arriving and orienting to the space before we move on.
- SEXUAL ARCHETYPES EXERCISE: Move through a gestalt-inspired exercise with each of you placing four pillows on the floor or four chairs in a diamond shape to see and then embody: 1) Who you are in the bedroom right now 2) Who your partner wants you to be around sex 3) Your highest, most pleasurable, most alive and confident sexual self
- EXPLORING THE DIFFERENT ANGLES PRACTICE: Next, your partner and you will take turns with the four pillows or chairs while one of you at a time connects with and shares what’s holding you back from stepping more fully into your authentic sexual self from each of these spaces: 1) Fears 2) Inner child 3) Desires 4) Higher wisdom
- RECAP & AFTERCARE: The two of you will be given an equal amount of time to share around the following topics: What did you experience? What did you feel? What did you love? Would you want anything different? What would support you to feel cared for, supported, safer, and more grounded in yourself and from your partner as you leave the space and head into the rest of your day?
- ON A DIAL CHECK-IN: To end, you’ll be invited to once again check in On The Dial. On a scale from 0 to 10, how open are you to having sex right now? Zero is, “No, thank you. Not right now.” Ten is “Yes, please. Let’s take off our clothes!” Anything from 1 to 9 is a willingness, a curiosity, a maybe coming from our sexuality and our body.
- EXPLORE MORE ON YOUR OWN: As we come to a close, I’ll give you a sense of what to expect while continuing to process and integrate this experience and how to bring it home with you. You’ll receive an email from me within 24 hours with a guided audio and additional offerings for support.
ABOUT YOUR FACILITATOR:
Daniela (she/they) is a certified Sex and Intimacy Coach, speaker, and writer practicing somatic abolitionism and appropriated tantra.
Named one of the ten best Sex and Intimacy Coaches of 2023 by DatingAdvice.com, she supports couples and individuals to experience deep sexual connection and intimacy with themselves and with their partner(s).
With over twenty-four years of experience coaching people one-on-one and teaching in college classrooms and yoga studios, she curates exercises and practices steeped in somatic attachment theory, neuroscience, embodied conflict resolution, trauma healing, modern psychology, and ancient tantric and taoist wisdom.
Daniela is a queer cisgendered woman raced as white born in the Bay Area as well as a biological and transnational adoptive parent of three.
She lives and works as an uninvited guest on occupied Ohlone land that’s known as San Jose, California in the United States.
For her, nothing is more important than connection.
Website: DanielaStevens.com
Social Media: @danielastevensnow